Vermont.

"I should write." I've been thinking, as I continue to ignore my blog. Well, today is the day. 

Right now I am sitting on the couch in my grandma's living room-2,000 miles away from home. My grandpa is next to me, sipping his coffee. Megan and Ethan are lounging on the other couch, on their laptop and iPod. My mom is 10 feet away, making chocolate truffles in the kitchen for the party tonight.  Averie is downstairs for her afternoon nap. My dad and grandma aren't within earshot, but I assume my grandma is on the phone and my dad is doing something on his iPad. 

When you look at my family on paper (or your phone or computer screen...) we may seem disconnected, but I love this. The down time, when we're all cozied up in blankets and hoodies, sipping coffee, watching a movie, just relaxing. 

I am not supposed to be here, technically. Right now I should be in the middle of an 11 1/2 hour shift at Jamba. If I were, I'd be sitting in the lobby with Roman, drinking our coffee with the creamer he hid so no one else would drink it, and we'd be staring out the window at the snow and talking about something meaningful.

Both scenarios are beautiful. A cozy day at 'home' with my family, or a cozy day at work with a good friend. I have a truly beautiful life. I have an amazing family, and incredible friends and people surrounding me in my life. I am just so grateful to be here with my family right now. 

This trip was totally last minute. It was expensive, and it was absolutely exhausting to get here, but that's all worth it. All I wanted for Christmas was to be with my family, and I got it. Although things are chaotic at work right now and things are going to be a little messy when I come home, I'm enjoying this time I have right now. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. 

I've been enjoying waking up to my mom making breakfast, drinking coffee with my grandparents, and taking Averie out in the snow for the first time. Driving through the narrow, un-plowed streets, through the frozen trees and 5 foot long icicles to go to town. Passing the shops on the end of the street with the cute apartments above them. I've loved seeing my family and I LOVED Christmas, but that's a story for another day. 

I feel so lucky to have been able to spend this time with my family. I shouldn't be here, and I'm not taking it for granted at all. I'm loving every moment, and soaking up all the memories. I probably won't be seeing my family for another year, and so many things can change in that time. One day I hope to live here, but until then, I look forward to every minute I get to spend in this beautiful state. 

It's my Birthday (Eve), and I'll cry if I want to.

It's my birthday-eve. I spent 11 hours at work, came home to a cold dinner, and poured myself a glass of Pinot Grigio. I'm spending Averie's last minutes before she falls asleep cuddling in my new bed and watching Miss Congeniality. And I've just found out that there's nothing special planned for tomorrow. Not even a card. 

Birthday? No. It's just another day. 

Today my mom bought me a bed frame for my bed as a birthday-Christmas gift. I'm so happy with it. I can raise it to attach 4 drawers underneath if I want to, (which I will as soon as I have $200 to spend) but mostly I'm just happy to not be sleeping on a mattress on the floor. It's the perfect gift. This is what moms are for. Not presents, but remembering birthdays and loving her kids no matter what. I love my mom. Even if I didn't get a birthday present, I would still love her. She does everything she can to make sure I'm happy. I wish everyone was like my mom. 

As far as my birthday DAY goes, I'll be waking up at 5:00 in the morning to go to work, and working 8 hours. A manager from Sandy is coming in to close for me, but since my sister has work, my mom has finals, and George isn't taking me out, I'll probably end up tacking on another 8 hour shift. (Unless I decide to take myself out...) Nobody wants to stay home alone on their birthday. Then again, Jamba is so slow this time of year I'll basically be alone there too. 

Well I'm off to finish my wine, and maybe make a big batch of brownies that I'll eat all by myself. Yes, I'm seriously having a pity party.

I dread my birthday every year.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Now that the initial annoyance of not being able to spend Christmas with my family has worn off, I'm getting excited for this holiday season. I know the perfect gift to get for every person on my list, and for once I can afford them all. I decorated the store tonight with tinsel and sparkly Christmas trees. I wrapped presents to put on display, and pinned garland to everything garland can be pinned to. I strung up gift cards to hang from the ceiling, and after 6 hours of decorating, I decided to finally call it a day. I came home to a halfway decorated house, and that was good enough for me. As I ate the home made tamales Mauricio and Letty (my boss and his wife) made for me, I looked around the house and felt at peace. I love this time of year. The decorations, the music, and the overall nature of giving. Even though the next few weeks I will be spending 60-70 or more hours of my time at work, and soon after my family will be leaving, I'm enjoying the moments I get right now. Saturday we are taking Averie to see Santa. Well, this will be round 2. She was a little too frightened to go up to him tonight when my parents took her. Hopefully Saturday goes well, and I will have another Christmas moment to think about while I'm at work these next few weeks. This Christmas won't be perfect, but it's all I need it to be.