I need to put it out there right now that this is a completely raw post. I haven't filtered or edited any of it. This is raw emotion right now that I needed to put out somewhere. I don't expect anyone to like this. But it's real.
I feel like I have no control over anything anymore. I can't channel my energy correctly. No one listens to me or even thinks of me or my wishes for a second. I don't know what to do. I feel completely helpless. I have no affect in any way that I want to. No one listens to me but then turns around and blames everything on me. I'm always in the wrong. Why? I'm done with this. I want to be on my own. No family. No friends. A new job. I don't want anyone to know anything about me or my life. I want to live on my own. I want to control my own life. I'm sick of this. I'm done. I'm done feeling inadequate at my job. I'm done feeling stupid for the rules I set with my child. I'm done feeling like a fuck up for the choices I've made and continue to make in my life. I know I'm a good mom, or try to be. Just because I have a different idea of what's good for my child than most people doesn't mean I'm wrong or a bad mom. And I'm sick of people making me feel that way. It's bullshit. I'm sick of being ignored, walked all over and taken advantage of. I'm sick of caring about people who don't give a shit about me. I need to get out. I need to be free. I'm sick of people pushing me down and giving their unwanted opinions. Stay the fuck out of my life. No one fucking asked you what you think about me and my choices. I fucking hate everyone. It makes me sick.
