Somewhere I Belong

When I got pregnant, after all the initial stress and worry I was happy because I was going to have a family. I was going to be a part of something. I was going to have somewhere I really belonged. But I find myself in a harsh reality, where family means nothing. Blood, sweat, and tears mean nothing. I have a daughter, and we belong together, but what else is there? Who are we supposed to be with? Where are we supposed to be? I have an overwhelming feeling that where I am is not where I'm supposed to be. I wish someone would tell me where to go and what to do. I wish I knew who I was. I wish I could just be happy with just my daughter and that would be enough. 

I grew up in a family with parents who never gave up on each other. They've been married for 21 1/2 years and are still going strong. No, they aren't perfect. They don't always agree on everything. But they work through it and never give up on each other, or their relationship. I grew up seeing that. I learned that you never give up on your partner and divorce is not an option. 

I've always wanted someone who would love me, and REALLY love me. That unconditional, forever kind of love. I wanted to grow up, get married, have a family and a house. I wanted a meaningful life-I still do. I thought it was starting for me 2 years ago when I got pregnant, but it hasn't turned out that way. I know plans change and things happen, but everyone should have a chance at being loved... Right?