Because I REALLY need to talk...

Two posts in one day, because I really need to talk.

I'm at a crossroads in my life. Well, I'm at "the spaghetti bowl" in my life. There are so many roads to take above me, below me, behind me, right next to me… I don't know which one to take. What seems right right now might not be right in the long run. Who knows what's right in the long run? What's easy now could end up not working out, and what if the hard thing seems like the right thing, but it isn't? Then I've put in work for nothing. Basically, I'm confused! I'll let you in on what's been going on. This is going to be a rough start, but I have a point, I swear.

When I was 16 I decided I wanted a job. My birthday was a few weeks before Christmas, so during school break I started looking around. I didn't want to work in fast food, so I applied at Target, American Eagle, and other similar places near my house. No one called me. So I applied to more places, and more places. No one called me. So I started giving in and applying at restaurants. No one called me. I gave in completely and applied at McDonalds. They didn't call me. I was ready to apply to be a janitor when my friend Spencer told me he could try to get me a job at his work. A few days later,  his manager called me to set up an interview. I went to the interview after school and filled out my application while a small, sweet, Mexican lady asked me questions. All of a sudden, I was hired! She told me I needed to buy a white polo shirt for my uniform, and I started on Wednesday. I was officially a Team Member at Jamba Juice.

When I first started, I though I would just work at Jamba for 6 months… MAYBE a year, and then I would find another job since I would have experience. Well, 6 months went by… a year went by… and I wasn't leaving. I had so much fun at work. It was an easy job, I loved my coworkers, and even though I was making minimum wage, that meant a couple hundred dollars to blow on clothes and shoes every 2 weeks. When I had been at Jamba for about a year, George got hired. A few months later, we started dating, and there was no way I was leaving! During my second summer at Jamba, I was told I would be made a Shift Manager when I turned 18 that December. That meant $8 an hour, and a promotion would look great on my resume! But that Fall, I got pregnant, and the position went to someone else because they weren't sure if I would return from my maternity leave. I was upset. I was more than upset. I was freaking pissed. But in my head I knew the girl they picked was a loser and wouldn't last long. (Haha.) So I stuck it out. She lasted a month and a half. I laughed in my manager's face, and he told me he knew I was right, but he had to know if I would come back after having the baby. I took 3 months of maternity leave and came right back!

At first I was only working one or two days a week, because I was breastfeeding and it was hard to be away from my daughter (not to mention embarrassing to pump milk in the bathroom). After some time, I started working three days a week every once in a while, to three days a week all the time, and I finally started working four days a week, all day shifts. A few months after my 19th birthday, they made me a Shift Manager. I thought Jamba was a short-term thing. Now look at me!

I've worked at Jamba for 3 ½ years. I work 5 days a week, full time plus overtime on most weeks. I am my General Manager's assistant, which means I do inventory, I make the schedule, and I handle almost everything that my manager does in addition to my own duties. He is training me to become a General Manager, so he can move to a new store that is going to be opening in the Summer of 2014. As a GM, I'l be making around $40,000 a year. Salary at age 20 with no college. That's awesome. Especially considering I'm a teen mom. It will be sooooo nice to have a "real" job.

But here's the thing. The store isn't promised to me. I'm not under contract or anything. My job title is still 'Shift Manager'. By the time that new store opens up, there could be somebody else that our Franchise owners and District Manager like better. They could throw me under the bus, and I could be stuck making $8 an hour after 4 years with the company… And that scares me to death.

About a week ago, I was working on the register and the owners or managers (I'm not exactly sure) of the Cafe Zupas in The District came in. I didn't know who they were at first. I rang them up, and after they paid they mentioned how upbeat and friendly I was. They said they worked at Zupas and were looking for people like me to work at the new store. I told them I was flattered, but that I was on track to becoming the store manager at Jamba. They were impressed. "That's GREAT!" they said. "Well… what about management opportunities at Zupas…" They were trying to reel me in. I told them Jamba was my first job when I was 16, and I have been at Jamba for almost 4 years. "I'm not really looking for any other jobs, I'm pretty loyal to the company." I could see that I only impressed them more. They picked at me until I finally gave them my number. "We'll just talk." they said. "No promises, no obligations. Let's just sit down and talk." A few days later, someone called and left a message on my phone. It's been a week and I don't have the guts to call back. My dad went to their soft opening tonight and further discussed it with a manager there. He gave them my number and said I should be expecting another call.

I want to throw up. It's like being with a guy for almost 4 years, and he's going to propose to you in  a year, but then this super hot swimsuit model guy comes along and wants to marry you NOW, but you don't know anything about him. BUT HE'S RICH. AND HOT. AND HE WANTS YOU. So cool, what the F do you do?

In the back of my mind, I know I'll probably stay at Jamba. I'm used to it. I'm freaking amazing at my job. I would really love to stay with the company, because I do believe in it and I love it so much. But I've been thrown under the bus before, and I don't want it to happen again. I don't know if I could handle that again. I really need a good paying job so I can start college.

(Sigh)

This is the part where I need to stop typing on an empty blog and talk to a real live person who can give me some advice.